I Had an Anxiety Attack

Or at least I think I did.

I don’t think I’ve ever had a serious anxiety attack in my life until a couple of days ago – well, not to an extreme extent as it wasn’t as high up on anxiety scale as I’ve heard other people have it worse than how I experienced it.

I was at work when it happened and luckily the lady who was working with me in the same area helped me out by telling me to sit down and take deep breaths when I told her I was having one. I ended up described to her what I was feeling at that time. I was experiencing heart palpitations, my hands were getting shaky and sweaty, slightly light headed, and I was also having a small freak out because I was having a panic attack in a public place and at was at work!

But after a few good minutes of taking deep breaths and helping customers to get my mind off my anxiety attack, I felt a lot better. I had to keep on taking deep breaths for the next five to ten minutes or so until I could feel my heart beat at a normal rate.

I actually typed in the symptoms I experienced into google and it said that I probably have a heart disease, so if I die sooner than expected I guess you’ll know why.

Anyway I’ve always felt like I’ve had some kind of anxiety – whether it’d be a little or a lot – when growing up but I’ve always managed to hide it in public or conquer it until I couldn’t feel the agonising anxiety in me by saying ‘yes’ and going out with my friends and meeting new people, and usually that tactic for me is pretty successful. Either way I’ve always been pretty good hiding any kind of anxiety I’ve experienced in the past. I think everyday I experience some level of anxiety but I guess everyone does. There’s always something to be anxious about, catching the train on time to meeting new people or going on a date.

So I guess if you ever see me having an anxiety attack in public just tell me to take deep breaths and sit down, but don’t worry, you probably won’t since I’m usually pretty good hiding my anxiety.

But I’ll be honest, you probably wouldn’t be able to tell so really, you’ll never know when I’m having one.

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Can of berries

Hello Internet.

For a while, I once had a blog, and then I deleted it, and then I was happy momentarily but then sad. Since then, I’ve recovered. Thanks for asking.

We’re (I am a mysterious figure) visiting a friend in Canberra and this friend has another friend (always good to have) who has a cat. Thus I propose we get kitty a cat, in particular this cat. Called Mabel. Who is fat and lovely and terribly independent. How nice it is to be independent but then to come slinking back for personal affection. How nice it is to know that when you are travelling you know you have a home and a bed waiting for you. While this may be a favourite for many people, travelling for me sums up seeing what locals see and what tourists see and trying to resolve what I want to see. With my own eyes, perspective and filter. Would I rather see the stage with the made up people prancing around on sage, or the wooden frame holding up the stage, dusted with history. It’s hard to do and say without seeming pretentious.  But let’s for a moment forget arrogance and self promotion, and say that everyone’s opinions are equal and on first glance plausible. A tourist sees your house, would you want them to think of it as luxurious and a once in a life time photo opportunity? Or see it as another house on a street in a suburb in a city in a country on earth. How do you see your house? With its intricacies and in jokes? Or by the sturdiness of the material that skilled builders carefully constructed. As I travel, I come to wonder how I should see the every day constructs around me. With the same wide eyed wonder as tourists. Or the cheeky glimpse of a local. Or something a student rushes past late to a tutorial. I never quite know, and I’ve yet to resolve it in my head.

In the mean time, I am happy being the tourist, or at least the half embarrassed but not embarrassed tourist in the crowd taking a photo of a building seemingly ordinary to locals rushing by. That and embarrassingly trying to subtly take a photo of grass and the clean paved floor. 

Yours faithfully,
S.

p.s: we’ll work on the cat. I promise you.

New Layout!

Only because when I viewed my blog the layout started playing up and made my blog look really dodgy soooo here’s a new one, one that is all provided by WordPress! Anyway, holidays are coming to an end, uni is about to start and I still need to get books and stuff for uni, talk about unorganised! Promise I will get this all sorted before uni starts, WHICH I AM COMPLETELY DREADING IN CASE YOU HAVE NOT REALISED!

The only thing that’s exciting about Uni is the dates that I have booked, like going to an Ed Sheeran concert on 06/03. You know, that kinda stuff, but otherwise than that I’d rather stay home, have nothing to do than to travel to uni for 1.5 hours, almost 5 days a week to learn and have assignments to do when I get back home, argh!

Anyway I’m thinking of changing my URL (I’m sorry Vivien) to the same one as my Tumblr, since it’s easier! Also I haven’t been blogging much, but that’s only cause there’s not a lot I want to talk about or share with the cyber world. Some things I just like to keep private to myself, so there’s an explanation as to why I rarely update.

Free at last!

This late afternoon, I finished my exams and commenced break for the Summer, wooo! I’m super pumped for this 4 month break as I’ve been waiting for this the whole year, and it’s here at last. I couldn’t be happier! :’)

Anyway, to kick off the break I think I might write up a list of things I want to complete this break instead of always being home bound and wishing work would call me to come in so I’ll have something to do that day, LOL… Actually, I think I would still want them to call me in as often as I can, and I feel really bad because for the past month I’ve been saying no because of uni and exams etc.

Anywho, here are the things that I would like to get done!

SUMMER TO DO LIST:

– Try Nutella pizza!

– Marathon every fucking TV show I own

– Work and earn as much money as I can so I can,

– Shop all I want without feeling poor!

– Celebrate my 19th

– Catch up with my dearly beloved missed cousin!

– And friends, dearest friends that I haven’t seen in a very, very long time!

– Split a foot long with Cindy as dirty as it sounds

– Book my hazards

– Pass my hazards

– Get my Ps

– Pass my Ps test

– Go to the beach (especially at night!)

So starting from 13/11/2012, I shall let my break begin, woo!

Social Media Platforms

Just thought I’d drop a post here about all the social media platforms I am currently using so you can stalk me more. Lol, jokes, don’t do that. But if I don’t update my blog here for a while, check out my other platforms for an update from there instead because if I’m not here, I’m probably over there, as I use each of them for a different purpose.

Twitter: @kitmunw

Used for short thoughts, a line or so.

Instagram: kitmunw

Used for random dosages of snaps of food, fashion and shameless selfies (with friends). After all a picture says a thousand words!

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Tumblr: intofreedom

Posts that aren’t rants or long enough to post on this space, and short quick posts. Also reblogs of many, many photos! Ask me questions at this platform too!

Feel free to follow me on any or all of them!