I Had an Anxiety Attack

Or at least I think I did.

I don’t think I’ve ever had a serious anxiety attack in my life until a couple of days ago – well, not to an extreme extent as it wasn’t as high up on anxiety scale as I’ve heard other people have it worse than how I experienced it.

I was at work when it happened and luckily the lady who was working with me in the same area helped me out by telling me to sit down and take deep breaths when I told her I was having one. I ended up described to her what I was feeling at that time. I was experiencing heart palpitations, my hands were getting shaky and sweaty, slightly light headed, and I was also having a small freak out because I was having a panic attack in a public place and at was at work!

But after a few good minutes of taking deep breaths and helping customers to get my mind off my anxiety attack, I felt a lot better. I had to keep on taking deep breaths for the next five to ten minutes or so until I could feel my heart beat at a normal rate.

I actually typed in the symptoms I experienced into google and it said that I probably have a heart disease, so if I die sooner than expected I guess you’ll know why.

Anyway I’ve always felt like I’ve had some kind of anxiety – whether it’d be a little or a lot – when growing up but I’ve always managed to hide it in public or conquer it until I couldn’t feel the agonising anxiety in me by saying ‘yes’ and going out with my friends and meeting new people, and usually that tactic for me is pretty successful. Either way I’ve always been pretty good hiding any kind of anxiety I’ve experienced in the past. I think everyday I experience some level of anxiety but I guess everyone does. There’s always something to be anxious about, catching the train on time to meeting new people or going on a date.

So I guess if you ever see me having an anxiety attack in public just tell me to take deep breaths and sit down, but don’t worry, you probably won’t since I’m usually pretty good hiding my anxiety.

But I’ll be honest, you probably wouldn’t be able to tell so really, you’ll never know when I’m having one.

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Wisdom Teeth

Earlier today I went into surgery to have my all of my four wisdom teeth removed. Pretty common around my age I think. Anyway, I’m all swelled up around the cheeks so I have a really fat face and I look like a chubby hamster, plus there’s a sling with ice packs around my face to reduce the swelling, so really, I look like a chubby hamster-rabbit LOL.

I remember going into the surgery room then being injected and told I’m going to fall asleep. That’s the first time that’s ever happened to me, and I thought it’d be a lot different, because what I felt today when I was put to sleep was this heavy feeling then snap, I was off to sleep. I’ve heard stories from a few of my friends that some of them weren’t fully knocked out, and only numbed so they felt everything throughout the whole surgery. I really don’t think I have the balls to do that, so I’m very glad I was knocked out LOL.

I felt like the surgery happened very quickly, when I woke up, though I was shivering my ass off. I remember asking the nurse if everything when okay, and she said it did so I was relieved as before, I was reading into the side effects of the surgery, which completely worried me. But yes, it went all good, and when I woke up, they checked my blood pressure for the third time and said I was all good and told my mother everything on what to do to take care of me, and while they were doing that, I could actually taste a bit of blood in my mouth. I got a bit worried but the nurse said it was normal from all the blood during the operation, which will wash out anyway, and it has so all good, yay! Also, while waiting for the surgery the doctor who was prescribing me my anaesthetics told me I had good veins LOOOOOL! Oh and apparently he went to school with Mr Schiller! Small world, hey!

I also remember I was in a room with another girl. I think her operation was before mine actually, and she was still sleeping from when the doctor had put her to sleep, and they were full on trying to wake up. They gave her something in hopes to wake her up, I’m not sure what but they had the curtains drawn between us so I don’t know, but I know she instead ended up coughing in her sleep. I think they got a lot more worried when I woke up before she did cause they were all, “BROOKE, BROOKE! YOU HAVE TO WAKE UP NOW! TIME TO WAKE UP”. Anyway, they sent her mum through, to the backdoor and let her in and let her try and wake her up, but it got pretty serious when they decided to call the ambulance on her, and said she needs to go to hospital since she’s not waking up at the expected time.

Currently, I’m on antibiotics, painkillers ya da ya da, and living off rabbit food. I swear, it’s probably the diet celebrities use to keep their anorexic figure LOL I am so going to go to a buffet when I can eat properly again and stuff my face with all the food they have.

I didn’t even have breakfast today when I woke up for my operation since they told me not to! And all I’ve had for lunch and dinner is potato soup LOL. Tomorrow I get, sweet potato soup, which I don’t think is any better.

#h8inglyf

I JUST WANT TO EAT PROPER FOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ed Sheeran

I went to a fucking Ed Sheeran concert!

Excuse my profanity, but it feels sooo good to be able to say that, haha.

Anyway, last night, I went to an Ed Sheeran concert, which was held at Festival Hall. I went with Ashwati, who I met up with at Glenny station. We met at about 3:30 and took the 3:44 train to Southern Cross, then walked to the venue from there. We got there at around 5, I think, then waited in line to line up to go to the toilet and buy water. While we were waiting, we both bought merch shirts. They come in different colours with different designs, but I decided to get the black one since you can never really go wrong with a black shirt, haha.

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And on the back of the shirt, it has all the 2013 Tour Dates, and everything, so it’s a pretty cool shirt I reckon, or maybe I’m just saying that because it’s Ed Sheeran, haha. Anyway after we bought our merch shirts, we played the waiting game for about an hour and a half until 6:30, which was when the doors opened. We waited inside the venue until 7:30 which was the show was schedule to start.

At 7:30, Ed Sheeran’s first opening act came onto stage. I don’t know the artist’s name, Kat maybe? I have no idea, lol, but to be frank, I don’t think she was very good. She sounded very average live, but the crowd was nice enough to cheer for her every now and then. She went off at about 8, then at 8:15 Passenger came onto the stage – Ed Sheeran’s second opening act. Passenger was a lot better then the first opening act. He was pretty decent live and he was funny. I can’t work out if I like him cause he was funny or cause he decent, maybe it’s both, but I do suggest for you to check out Passenger’s songs. He sang a few songs here and there and got off at about 8:45.

While the two opening acts were preforming, the amount of pushing and shoving in mosh was insane. There was this bitch like a person away from me who kept on pushing everyone just so she could get closer to the front, who I just wanted to punch in the face. When she was pushing I swear I could feel everything from the girl behind me on my back – boobs, stomach, legs! Not to mention, I was already being squished from the sides and front! An all around sandwich, haha. But after a while it calmed down and I had room to breathe a little.

So 9 o’clock came Ed Sheeran finally came on.

OH MY GOD, ALL THE FEELS, SO MANY FEELS!

He opened up with Give Me Love, which was so freaking amazing live (actually all the songs he sang were brilliant live), but to be honest, I think he should’ve closed with Give Me Love as that would’ve been the best to end on. But either way, Give Me Love was a good way to get the crowd pumping into the song.

He preformed a few slow songs where he wanted everyone to be quiet, and explained how being quiet during a song works, which is a three step process. The first was the universal “shhh”, the second was to stroke the noisy person on the shoulder, and not any lower than the shoulder, then when you get their attention you make eye contact with them then shake your head, and the third was the universal “shhh” again. When he explained it, everyone went quiet and there was this girl who shouted out “I love you Ed” and Ed snapped back and said “that girl needs to be stroked!” then made a guilty facial expression cause he knew it sounded a bit funny just like the rest of the audience, haha.

When he preformed the first two quiet songs, everyone was pretty good at keeping quiet. I’m really glad he asked for the audience to be quiet because I managed to video a few of the quiet songs with just him and his guitar, so it was really good to hear just his voice and no fans singing along or anything. However, the last song that he wanted everyone to be quiet in, the crowd was like full on screaming, and he’s like “Shhhh, I could just not play it if you like” which got everyone to shut up lol, and you could tell he looked really pissed off on the big screen.

Then I think at about 10:30, Ed Sheeran was like, “guys this is the last song”, then he sang it and walked off stage. Then we were all like “bullshit, as if”, and we decided to do a drum roll with our feet and scream out, “WE WANT ED!”, then he came back out onto the stage with an Australian flag and wrapped it around the mic stand, then did his encore which was about 6 songs, I think!

During the encore, he brought out both of the opening acts. He first brought out the female opening act, and they did a duet of Kiss Mewhich was alright. I might be bias here but I think the whole song would’ve sounded better if he sang it himself, but I mean she did sound alright, but I would’ve preferred it if Ed sang it himself. Also, I would totally share with you guys the song cause I videoed it on my phone and everything but I don’t know how to upload here cause I’m noob like that LOL.

Anyway after that, she went off stage and Ed did a cover of No Diggity before he brought out his second opening act. Those two did a duet but I don’t know the name of the song. All I know was that they sang it pretty well. The No Diggity song, went a little like this, except with Ed singing the song himself and no mash up.

Then I think Ed sang a few more songs and ended his concert with The A Team. Also throughout the whole concert, Ed Sheeran had his guitar connected to this big screen behind him and whenever he strummed his guitar, an effect on the big screen behind him would make some kind of cool effect.

So we started making our way out of the concert hall, and on our way out we passed first aid, and there were like a little more than a handful of girls in first aid. One girl was sitting down trying to catch her breath, the other had a bandage around her knee and another was pretty much lying on a mat like she was dead while the first aid people fanned her. Also, the amount of people that got pulled out at mosh was too many to count! So many people were being squished, it was crazy!

When we got out and made our way to Southern Cross station, we passed by Coles to buy a bottle of water and as soon as I opened the bottle, I downed it like there was no tomorrow. That was because we weren’t allowed to bring in any water bottles into the concert, but during the concert, the security guards sprayed water on us and gave us bottles of water to share around and drink. Who knows, maybe I have aids from sharing water, lol, I was desperate and thirsty!

Anyway, didn’t get back until 12:30 and probably didn’t even sleep until 1:30 as I was still in a musical wonderland when I got home. Oh yeah, and I started at 8:30 today so now I feel so dead, plus I had to work after uni too. How am I even still alive?! LOL

I daresay it was a pretty damn freakin awesome concert! And now I will leave you with some pictures from the night!

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During “Give Me Love”

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"My eyes are red"

“My eyes are red”

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Silhouette shot of Ed Sheeran